The Silent Struggle: Why Nurses Must Stop Suppressing Their Anger!
Mar 22, 2025
As nurses, we are trained to be calm, compassionate, and composed—no matter what. The unspoken rule? Good nurses don’t get angry.
This mindset is deeply ingrained in the Good-Girl Operating System, which teaches us from an early age that being agreeable and self-sacrificing is the path to acceptance. But where does that leave us when we face constant stress, heavy workloads, and unreasonable demands?
We suppress our anger. We push it down, smile through it, and keep going. But at what cost?
The Hidden Consequences of Suppressed Anger
Suppressing anger doesn’t make it disappear—it redirects it. When left unprocessed, anger can manifest in:
- Chronic stress and burnout – The body stays in a state of heightened tension, leading to exhaustion.
- Resentment and disengagement – Suppressed emotions create emotional distance from colleagues, patients, and even loved ones.
- Physical symptoms – Headaches, digestive issues, and high blood pressure often stem from unexpressed frustration.
- Boundary violations – When we don’t acknowledge our anger, we often allow repeated overwork, disrespect, or unfair treatment.
Why Anger Is a Valid Emotion
Anger is not the enemy—it’s information. It signals when something is unjust, unfair, or out of alignment with our values. Instead of suppressing it, we need to learn from it and use it as a tool for change.
In iPEC’s 7 Levels of Energy, anger aligns with Level 2 energy, which is often seen as combative or destructive. However, Level 2 also carries power and clarity—it’s the level where we recognize that something is wrong and feel compelled to take action. The key is to channel anger constructively rather than react impulsively.
Healthy Ways To Process Anger
Instead of pushing anger aside or exploding in frustration, try these strategies:
1. Notice and Name It – Before dismissing your anger, pause and identify what’s triggering it. Are you being overworked? Undervalued? Ignored? Naming it gives you clarity.
2. Channel It into Action – Use anger as motivation to set a boundary or advocate for change. If you’re angry about excessive overtime, initiate a conversation with leadership about workload concerns.
3. Release It Physically – Unprocessed anger gets trapped in the body. Try movement—walking, running, yoga, or even punching a pillow—to let it out in a healthy way.
4. Shift Your Perspective – Ask yourself: What is this anger telling me? Instead of feeling guilty about it, use it as a signal for self-awareness and growth.
5. Practice Assertive Communication – Express your needs clearly and confidently. Instead of saying, “I’m sick of being overworked!” try, “I need to discuss a fair workload so I can continue providing quality care.”
6. Set Boundaries Before Burnout – When anger consistently arises in response to a situation, it’s a sign that a boundary is needed.
Where Are Your Boundaries?
If you find yourself frequently frustrated but unable to take action, it may be time to assess where your boundaries need strengthening.
Take The Boundary Wheel for Nurses to identify where a lack of boundaries is impacting your career, health, and personal life.
By recognizing and processing anger in healthy ways, we can break free from the Good-Girl Operating System, advocate for ourselves, and create a career where we feel respected, valued, and in control.
Anger is not the problem—ignoring it is.
