Are You Living by Invisible Rules That Keep You Small?

 Most nurses I know are incredibly self-aware — when it comes to caring for others.

But when it comes to themselves?
They’re often following a strict internal rulebook they didn’t even write.

Rules like:

• I should always be nice

• I shouldn’t say no

• I should just handle it myself

• I shouldn’t ask for help

These “shoulds” feel like boundaries — but they’re not. They’re inherited beliefs, silently passed down by families, workplaces, education, culture. At some point, they may have served you. They kept you safe. Kept the peace. Helped you feel accepted.

But are they still helping now?

If you’ve ever felt resentful, drained, guilty, or stuck — it might be time to check the fine print on your inner rulebook.

Here’s the truth:

You do have boundaries.
They’re just on yourself.
And they’re keeping you small.

As an adult, you don’t need to live by old survival rules. You have discernment now. You’re capable of making intentional choices — choices that protect your wellbeing, elevate your voice, and invite respect from others.

So how do you begin?

Try this 3-Step Awareness Process:

1. Notice the Shoulds.
   Start tuning in to your thoughts. Where are you saying “I should…” or “I shouldn’t…”? Write them down. Don’t judge them — just notice.

2. Trace the Origin.
   Ask yourself: Where did I learn this? Who told me this was right? Sometimes it’s family. Sometimes it’s early training. Sometimes it’s the culture of healthcare itself.

3. Ask: Is this Still True for Me?
   Does this rule support your growth, your energy, your values? Or is it just keeping you “in line”? What would you choose if you trusted yourself instead of the rule?

This awareness isn’t about throwing kindness or integrity out the window. It’s about choosing how you show up — not obeying old programming out of fear.

This is why setting boundaries matters.

Because once you stop over-controlling yourself, you start asking new questions:
How do I want to be treated?
What do I want to say yes to?
Where can I give from a full cup — not from obligation?

✨ Ready to explore the invisible rules holding you back?

Take the Nurses Boundary Impact Quiz to spot where you’re thriving — and where stronger boundaries could bring more energy, peace, and freedom in your work and life.