How You See Yourself Shapes Everything

A few weeks ago, I asked a nurse how she saw herself.

She paused and said,
"I don't know… I guess I’m someone who helps. I just do my job and try not to cause problems."

She wasn’t being modest—she was being honest.
She truly saw herself as small. Replaceable. Secondary.
And I get it… because I used to feel the same way.

But here’s the thing:

How you see yourself is how others will see you.
And how others see you is how they’ll treat you.

The Problem Isn’t Just the System—It’s the Mirror

Many nurses were raised to believe that being humble, quiet, selfless, and accommodating made them “good.”
So they internalized this:

• Don't speak unless spoken to.

• Don’t ask for what you need—it’s selfish.

• Keep the peace. Don’t rock the boat.

Over time, this turns into an identity:
“I’m not a leader.”
“I’m not good at speaking up.”
“I’m not that important.”
“I’m just a nurse.”

And without realizing it, they show up that way—
Playing small. Staying silent. Putting everyone else first.

But Let Me Ask You…

Would you say that to a colleague you admire?

Would you call her “just a nurse”?
Would you ignore her contributions, expect her to overextend herself, or tell her she’s not a leader?

Of course not.

So why is it okay to do that to yourself?

The Truth: You Are a Leader

You make split-second decisions.
You advocate for patients when no one else does.
You navigate complexity, compassion, and chaos every single shift.

That’s leadership.

But until you start seeing yourself that way, the recognition you crave will stay out of reach.

So, How Do You Shift the Image?

This isn’t about ego—it’s about owning your worth.
Here are four simple but powerful ways to start creating a more accurate, empowered image of yourself:

1. Notice Your Inner Narrative

Pay attention to the labels you use.
Are you “just a nurse”? Are you always “helping out,” never “leading”?
Start replacing minimizing language with powerful language.

Instead of:
“I just help out where I can.”
Try:
“I lead with compassion and precision in high-stakes environments.”

2. Define Who You Are Becoming

Write down 5 adjectives that describe how you want to be seen.
Examples: Assertive. Wise. Grounded. Skilled. Confident.
Let them guide how you show up and speak about yourself.

3. Ask for Feedback From People You Trust

Sometimes we can’t see our own brilliance.
Ask a trusted colleague or mentor:
“What strengths do you see in me that I might be missing?”

Their words can become a new lens.

4. Visualize Yourself as Powerful

Each day, take 30 seconds to picture yourself at your best—clear, grounded, respected.
Step into that vision.
Feel it in your body. Speak from it. Act from it.

Because when you carry a strong inner image, others can feel it—even before you say a word.

Final Thought:

You can’t wait for the system to value you before you decide to value yourself.

You go first.
Not with arrogance, but with clarity.
Not to prove your worth—but to own it.

Your voice matters.
Your leadership is needed.
And it all begins with how you see yourself.

👉 Curious about how other nurses have walked their challenging paths? Join us for the Nurses Journey Virtual Summit  May 27th - June 9th 2025