From Problem-Focused to Possibility-Focused: How Shifting Your Mindset Can Empower You to Speak Up!

 In nursing, not speaking up can sometimes feel like the safest option. Yet avoiding difficult conversations often means missing out on the support and solutions we desperately need. I’ve seen this firsthand with two clients whose experiences illustrate how focusing on the problem—or what you don’t want—can keep you from asking for what you truly need.

A Story of Unspoken Expectations

My first client was a newly promoted nurse struggling with accountability. She felt that her challenges stemmed from not meeting expectations, yet the real issue was more subtle. She found it incredibly hard to set clear expectations with her team because she didn’t want to offend anyone or be perceived as bossy. Instead of establishing clear guidelines, she fell into a pattern of vagueness, hoping that things would eventually smooth over.

Through our coaching sessions, we uncovered that her hesitation to speak up wasn’t about her abilities—it was about her fear of negative perceptions. By focusing on avoiding conflict, she lost sight of the power that comes from clarity and assertiveness. When you fixate on what you don’t want (in this case, being seen as too assertive), you often forfeit the opportunity to create an environment where everyone knows what is expected and can perform at their best.

The Burden of Unrealistic Expectations

My second client faced a different challenge. Her leader set an expectation that she find a way to accept more patients—even though her team was understaffed and already stretched thin. Determined not to let this expectation hurt her performance rating, she relentlessly tried to make it work. The result? Sleepless nights, mounting stress, and an overwhelming sense of inadequacy.

She didn’t speak up about her concerns because she believed her boss wouldn’t listen or that expressing her needs might be interpreted as a lack of capability. This mindset left her locked in a cycle of focusing on what was missing rather than exploring what could be done. Through coaching, she shifted her perspective: instead of concentrating on the impossibility of the situation, she began focusing on what was in her control.

Instead of simply saying, “It’s not possible,” she approached her leader with actionable solutions. She asked for overtime approval, proposed bonuses for team members willing to step up, and even requested the authority to hire additional staff. By shifting her focus from the problem to the possibilities, she transformed a situation of despair into one of proactive change.

The Power of Focusing on What You Need

Both of these experiences highlight a common challenge: when you concentrate on the problem or on what you fear, you block yourself from asking for what you truly need. It’s a trap that can keep you silent—even when speaking up might lead to real, positive change.

• Focus on Solutions: Rather than fixating on shortcomings, consider what is within your control. Ask yourself, “What can I change? What resources do I need?”
• Embrace Your Voice: Speaking up isn’t about creating conflict; it’s about fostering understanding and collaboration. Clear communication sets the stage for success—not just for you, but for your whole team.
• Lean on Support: Sometimes, all it takes is a fresh perspective from a coach or mentor to help you see that your ideas and needs are valid. They can help you build the confidence to express them effectively.

Final Thoughts

Not speaking up because you’re focused on what you don’t want can leave you feeling powerless and overwhelmed. Shifting your mindset to focus on what you need—and what you can control—can unlock solutions that not only improve your work environment but also enhance patient care.

For nurses, learning to speak up is not just a professional skill—it’s a form of self-care and advocacy for both yourself and your patients. When you move from a problem-focused mindset to one that embraces possibilities, you pave the way for meaningful change.

Ready to Transform Your Communication?
If these stories resonate with you, and you’re ready to start focusing on what you need instead of what you fear, I invite you to download my free resource: "3 Reasons Why Nurses Don’t Have Difficult Conversations (And What to Do About It)." This guide is designed to help you overcome the obstacles that hold you back from speaking up and to empower you with actionable strategies to foster a supportive, solution-driven work environment.

Download Your Free Resource Here

Remember, your voice matters—not just for you, but for every patient and colleague who relies on your strength and clarity. Let’s work together to create a future where every nurse feels empowered to ask for what they need.