🌀 What Do You Want?

(The Most Avoided Question You Need to Start Asking Yourself)

If you’re a nurse—or a woman who’s spent her life doing the “right thing,” following the rules, and putting everyone else first—there’s one question that might stop you in your tracks:

What do you want?

It seems simple. But for years, I couldn’t answer it either.

I built a career by being dependable, accommodating, and selfless. I was praised for saying yes, for going above and beyond, for being a team player. But somewhere along the way, I lost touch with me.

And when someone finally asked, “What do you want?”
I didn’t know.
I had no idea how to answer a question that had never been safe to ask.

Why It’s So Hard to Answer

If that question brings up a blank, a lump in your throat, or even a little panic—
🛑 You’re not broken.
🛑 You’re not selfish.
🛑 You’re not failing.

You’ve been operating from a system that rewarded you for self-sacrifice.
You’ve been celebrated for putting yourself last.
And you’ve survived by tuning out your own needs to meet the demands of everyone else.

That’s not weakness. That’s programming.
But now? You get to choose something different.

Here’s the Good News: Desire Can Be Reawakened

That moment I realized I couldn’t name what I wanted wasn’t the end of the road—it was the beginning.

I began asking myself little questions.
I got quiet and listened.
And I slowly started coming home to myself.

You can, too.

Here are a few gentle tools to help you start:

🔍 1. Begin With How You Want to Feel

If “what do I want?” feels overwhelming, begin with how you want to feel.

Do you want to feel…

• Calm?

• Respected?

• Joyful?

• Free?

• Energized?

Your desired feelings are powerful clues to the life you’re meant to create. For example, if you want to feel calm, what needs to change about your workload, your schedule, or your boundaries?

🌱 Let your feelings lead the way.

🧠 2. Try This Prompt: “If I didn’t feel guilty, I would…”

Guilt is the guard dog at the gate of your desire.
This question slips past it.

“If I didn’t feel guilty, I would __________.”

Would you ask for help?
Say no to that extra shift?
Book a weekend alone without your family?

This question bypasses what you think you “should” want—and taps into what you actually want.

✍🏽 3. Journal these 3 Questions

Take 10 minutes. Let your thoughts flow freely. Don’t edit. Just listen.

1. What do I want more of in my life?

2. What do I want less of?

3. If I could create my ideal day, what would it include?

These questions helped me reconnect to myself. They still do.

🔄 4. Ask the Question Often

Your wants are not static. They evolve as you do.

The more you ask this question, the more natural it feels to:

• Make aligned decisions

• Set boundaries without guilt

• Speak up instead of staying silent

• Put yourself back into the center of your own life

That’s not selfish. That’s self-responsible.

🗝 Final Thought

If you’ve been living by everyone else’s rules, it’s no wonder you’ve forgotten your own desires.

But here’s what I know—because I’ve lived it:

🌟 You can stop living on autopilot.
🌟 You can shift from obligation to intention.
🌟 You can want what you want—and not apologize for it.

All it takes is one question.

So today, pause.
Breathe.
And ask:
What do I want?

Let it be messy. Let it be honest.
And let it be the beginning of everything.

🧭 Want Help Figuring Out Where You Need Boundaries Most?

Start with the Nurses Boundaries Assessment—a free and powerful tool to help you see exactly where your energy is being drained… and where stronger boundaries could give you the clarity, time, and space you’ve been craving.

💥 Take the Assessment Here → Nurses Boundary Assessment

You deserve to know what you want.
And you deserve a life that honors it.