Why I Struggled to Speak Up in Meetings—And What Finally Helped Me

Early in my career, my boss gave me some feedback:

“You need to speak up more on conference calls.”

She meant well.
She knew I had ideas.
But what she didn’t understand was this:

I wasn’t not speaking up because I didn’t care or didn’t have thoughts to contribute.
I was listening—deeply.

I’ve never been the type to think out loud just to fill space. I like to listen, absorb, and consider. I wanted to hear what others had to say. It just didn’t feel natural—or safe, honestly—to jump in with “I have an idea!” Especially in spaces where voices competed and the loudest often won the floor.

When I did try, I felt weird and self-conscious. My nervous system went into overdrive, and the idea I wanted to share would vanish into thin air.

But I eventually found a way that worked for me.

Instead of forcing myself to jump in with something brilliant, I started reflecting back what I heard:

“So what I’m hearing is… did I get that right?”

It was a simple shift. But it changed everything.

Reflecting made it feel safer to enter the conversation. It gave me a moment to ground myself and helped others feel heard too. From there, it became easier to share a thought, ask a clarifying question, or even offer a new idea.

I wasn’t trying to be someone I wasn’t. I was just adding my voice in a way that felt authentic.

If you’ve ever been told to “speak up more,” I want you to know it doesn’t mean you have to be the loudest voice in the room.

Listening is a strength.
And there are ways to speak up that honor who you are.

✨ You don’t need to become an extrovert to be heard.
✨ You just need to find your own entry point into the conversation.

If this resonates, I’d love to hear:
What helps you speak up in spaces that feel intimidating?

And if you’re ready to build confidence, speak up without guilt, and reclaim your space at the table—
Join me for my free Masterclass:
Reclaim Your Voice: How to Be Heard, Set Boundaries, and Get the Respect You Deserve.

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